Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
