Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
