I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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