We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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