Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
