3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I've blown a few things in my day
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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