my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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