They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
