I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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