I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
