Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just google imaged poop.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
