Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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