oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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