Pappa wants mamma naked
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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