that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
