I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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