He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
