So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
