Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
