I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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