worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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