remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
even my farts smell like vagina
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
