Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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