Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
