4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am naked and annoyed.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize