when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
