i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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