He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
