I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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