My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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