I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize