Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
