bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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