Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
