dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
