I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
