We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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