she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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