And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
