Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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