I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
