just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
