doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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