i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love you. Go after that dick
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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