just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Randomize
