wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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