Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
