if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
