Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
