DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
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We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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