we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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