We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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