some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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